is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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