Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
