i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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