I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
