whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Randomize
