My brain says no but my pants say off.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
