At least make sure they are 18
Why
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
