hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
