Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
