i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize