Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
