it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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