Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
