Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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