Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You can't just leave with hair like that
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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