I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Randomize
