I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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