Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
