cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
