I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
