so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
