At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
