How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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