made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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