it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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