Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
