So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
