Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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