I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
