so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize