"it" just moved
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
