6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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