So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I didn't notice because vodka
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
