Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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