Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
