marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
