well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
