She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
