If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
