4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
