She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
