twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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