Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
