i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
