I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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