check it out our google latitudes are spooning
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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