Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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