just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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