Just fell off a train. Bad.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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