i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
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he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
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Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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