i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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