oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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