if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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