party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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