Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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