We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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