I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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