needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
