so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
