And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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